The Limits & Signals of Male Sexuality #1: A Black Man Under Seige in the NFL?

I stumbled upon news today that NFL player Odell Beckham, Jr. is planning to room with Drake while Drake completes his “Views from the 6” album. My first thought was Why does Google care that I know this? but after looking up Beckham, I saw why this would be reported on. It seems that people think Beckham is some kind of fugitive from the norms of how black men should behave and The Internet is intent on catching him in the act. To what end - A confession? A fight? A breakdown? - I don’t know, but I guess the only thing that matters is that Beckham do it publicly.

This isn't the first time accusations like these have been leveled against a man of color in the public eye, but this instance stands out because of the timing and tone of the accusations and the behavior that prompted them.

Timing: Now that we have several examples of professional athletes identifying as LGBT, there should be no reason to assume that anyone is straight or gay based on how they present themselves (or how we perceive them). The signals of straightness are as varied and misleading as the signals of queerness, so the subtext of the accusations against Beckham - "Real men don't do that" or "Athletes shouldn’t do that" - is unfounded. Is someone like Ray Rice a better or "realer" man than Beckham because the spouse he abused is female? Is Caitlyn Jenner more of a man than most men because she was married several times and fathered six children from three different women? Or is it that Jenner is less of man because she was was married as Bruce for over twenty years but didn't cheat? The rules for proper behavior as a man are not consistent, so violating those rules are too easy. And when so many men are accused of any number of "suspect" behaviors, maybe it's time to moderate what we consider suspicious.

Tone: The accusations against Beckham are also noteworthy because they're frank. Instead of using whistle words such as "suspect", "sweet", "funny", or "off", NFL players have gone on record as calling Beckham "bitch" or "female". They may not have used terms like "homosexual", "gay", or even "faggot" publicly, but what is usually defended later as musing or joking about someone's sexual identity can't be dismissed as that this time.

There seems to be a vested interest among Beckham's peers to uncover or expose what they perceive as deviant behavior. Rude comments by random people on social media are one thing, but when public figures - people who have received media training and have a lot at stake - join the mob, then something needs to be done. The NFL has failed to rigorously investigate attacks on Beckham, but where’s GLAAD? Why haven’t they released a statement? They would know that advocating for someone perceived to be gay is as important as advocating for openly gay people. The Anti-Defamation League acts on incidents of discrimination not directly related to anti-semitism because they understand bigotry doesn't limit itself to one group or area at a time. GLAAD should understand the same.

And now the behavior. There’s a video of Beckham posted about four months ago that shows him dancing with a male friend. When I found the video, I thought I was going to at least see Beckham slow dancing with his friend. Not that such behavior should be characterized as "gay", but it would have been provocative coming from a professional athlete. Instead, what I saw was two friends performing a quickly/poorly rehearsed dance. Is Beckham the first celebrity to record something random or wacky? I don't even think "wacky" is the right word since this isn’t even the weirdest video you'll watch today. Watching this video couldn't possibly be a revelatory experience for you unless you've just joined social media after living under a rock.

Now, let’s talk about Beckham. From what I’ve read, he’s a talented football player. He’s a black man employed, doing work he loves (I hope), and being paid well to do it. These are good things and if you’re of a particular mindset, also rare. Why criticize him for anything more than his professional performance? In the video I saw, he's doing what he wants and it doesn't involve demeaning or objectifying someone. Which would be a more appropriate video for him to post: Throwing dollars at a stripper or dancing? What about playing basketball or dancing? Channing Tatum can vogue like Madonna and dance while dressed as Beyonce without affecting his casting as a superhero, but Beckham dances on social media and that means he's attracted to men? Are we supposed to assume that the dance was meant as foreplay?

Sadly, many of the speculation on Beckham’s sexual orientation has come from people of color, which highlights a dangerous and self-destructive strain of social conservatism. The boxes people of color put black men in are as suffocating as the boxes racists put black men (and boys!) in. There's already a long list of things other people can do that black men/boys can't do without fear of arrest or even death, but dancing? Hanging out with friends? Being happy, maybe even joyful, AND showing it? Sure, let's add that to the list.

I can imagine some racist troll posting a comment on Beckham’s video that says something like "Black people sure like to dance" or "Why is he dancing in the middle of the day when he should be working?", comments that reinforce stereotypes and undermine agency. How many times a day do we see men of color doing exactly what they want to do? Now, how many of those actions are perceived as positive or empowering? Comments that degrade or dismiss men of color are damaging whether they come from a racist white man or an uninformed black woman.

Beckham characterized the accusations as “irrelevant” and “just words” in a recent interview, but I don't believe him. When someone is viciously and persistently judged, they can't just let it go. Beckham, or any man of color - straight or LGBT - who experiences this must feel as bewildered by these comments as they're bewildered when a white friend makes a "those/you people" comment. These actions are all points in a constellation of excuses for misunderstanding, miscategorizing, and degrading males of color. Stop!

There are many issues to be concerned about and many stories of failed efforts to address them. If you want to read about “suspect” behavior, read something else. With all the toxicity surrounding what people can do or how/when/where they can do it, it would be a relief to see a black man enjoy himself and do something that just occurs to him without suffering anxiety or insult for it. If we can laugh to keep from crying, why not dance to keep from running? There are many people who are eager to degrade or dismiss people they don't recognize. Do you have to be one of them?